The road to happiness does seem to lie in certain way. Last week I was falling into sinful behaviors, or bad habits, quite a bit. I wrote about them in a couple of posts recently. Although I did not feel terrible after a while, I still felt a certain emptiness and irritability. I felt distant from God. Anxieties increased because of that.
This week I have refrained from all that. Somehow, I feel healthier and happier. What is the lesson here? Is masturbation a bad thing? Is the Church right after all on this issue? My experiences would seem to indicate that. I still can’t imagine myself never seeking sexual release ever again in my life, but at the moment, not seeking sexual release is making me happier than seeking it, although I can get into fairly heated states of horniness as a result. Celibacy can be used for good too: the energy can be channeled into more creative and productive pursuits. I find I can write better when I am not giving in to all my sexual desires.
I will still enjoy feminine beauty though. I know the difference between lust and natural attraction so I don’t think I am falling into the more animal of the two things. Not to enjoy feminine beauty would be to fall into a state of perpetual neurosis. God made beautiful women for a reason.
And then of course there is the question of my more salacious writings. Still don’t have an answer for that one.
Life, despite all its difficulties, can be a hilarious thing sometimes.